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the red swan's avatar

loved this text! i especially liked the quote, “maybe we will soon come to the conclusion that there are no bad reasons not to have sex at all.” it points out how society always attempts to “justify” either the fact that people don’t want to have sex or their label. you can’t just say that you’re not feeling like it or you’re not into it at all—you must prove it with evidence. otherwise you won’t be taken seriously. this is so frustrating…

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tia <3's avatar

thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoyed!! and yes, i agree, in what other circumstance do we have to prove to people we don't want to do something, maybe i just don't want to, is that so bad?!

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Kirsty 🌻's avatar

Another incredible piece on asexuality!! It’s so important to write these posts so the conversation can open up and we can begin to educate ourselves and others to include everyone! I’ve unfortunately seen a few people in social media comments discussing how someone cannot be asexual due to trauma, and it can be so damaging because labels are there to be used by anyone if they identify with it - I cannot understand how people can ‘reject’ someone over their sexuality purely because it doesn’t fit their ‘perfect’ cookie cutter version of it - to me if someone identifies as ace then that is all I need to hear to believe them! But absolutely love this series you are doing and hope there’s more to come!!

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tia <3's avatar

thank you so much!! and exactly, i agree!! people can get so defensive and protective over labels that are supposed to be there to help people. if two people go through completely different experiences and end up in the same place, why does that automatically mean one of them did it the wrong way or that it just doesn't count for them?!

there's a quote from like a 2013 blog that i was desperate to fit in somewhere but i just couldn't figure out how to squeeze it in, and now you've given me the ideal opportunity because you've literally described it perfectly:

"If someone is currently experiencing themself as an asexual person, who are you to tell them that their experiences are inauthentic? No one, that’s who. Even if someone believes that they are asexual as a direct result of sexual violence, their experience of their sexuality is perfectly legitimate, and you don’t get to hold veto power over their identity."

but i'm glad you enjoyed! thank you for your comments, i always appreciate them <33

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Lillian's avatar

Thank you for talking about this 👏🏻👏🏻

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tia <3's avatar

and thank you for reading about it <3

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Cody Daigle-Orians's avatar

Really appreciate this piece. Thank you!

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tia <3's avatar

thank you so much <3

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Amelia M. Burton's avatar

This was a fantastic piece on asexuality and disability! I really appreciate how you highlight the value of connection between the two communities--I think there's so much to be learned when we allow asexuality and disability to exist together without that "mutual negation" you talked about. I've written on this subject before, so it's something I'm really interested in, and I loved your take on it!

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tia <3's avatar

thank you so much!! that means a lot <3 it's something i've wanted to write about for a while so i'm very glad you enjoyed!

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